Cancer Update: I’m gonna need some caps!

Thank you for following the link.

We learned from the most recent PET Scan that the radiation was effective on the targeted area of my hip and shoulder, though more areas—bone and lymph nodes—are now involved.
“Intensified” was the word my Oncologist used.
The cancer “markers” in the blood tests also jumped…significantly.

Short answer: the cancer has gotten more aggressive!
So now, we get more aggressive.

The next step is chemo.

I’ll have surgery next Monday to install a port for the infusions.
The treatments will begin shortly afterwards.

Right now, we’re scheduled for every three weeks, which is mild compared to some protocols.
We’ll do a few, then another PET Scan to measure results, and make decisions of next steps.

The doctor said I’d most likely have three main side effects from the treatments: fatigue, dry skin, and loss of hair.

Personal Note: I’m not concerned about losing my hair; I keep it very short, so there’s not much to lose.
Besides, I’ve known of folks with cancer who lost so much more—breasts, legs, lungs, their income, or their lives.
In the grand scheme of things, being bald is a small thing to me.

Guess I need to get me some cute beanies.

Maybe I could audition for The King and I.
(Never mind that I can’t sing or dance!)

Perhaps I could walk around with a lollipop and declare, “Who loves ya, baby?”
(Is that TV reference too obscure?)

Personal Perspective.

I’ve been on this journey for a long time now.
My first diagnosis was back in 1999, and I’ve had multiple reoccurrences.
At times, I get tired. Afraid. Anxious.

If you’ve followed me and my updates, you know that I don’t tend to talk about my disease in terms of “warfare.”
(i.e., Cancer is the “enemy,” and I must “fight” like a good “soldier” to have “victory.”)
I know many use that analogy, and I don’t correct them, but it’s not one that I usually employ.

Personal Note: Yes, I do have my reasons, aside from being a hardcore pacifist!
I don’t see myself as some kind of warrior; I’m a person who has a disease.
I mean, if someone (like me) dies of cancer, does that mean they didn’t do enough? Didn’t fight hard enough? Didn’t have enough faith?
(I often hear people talk about who “lost” their battle with cancer.”)

Studies have shown that this often puts pressure on someone who’s dealing with the disease—they feel like they can’t let people down by being discouraged. By not “winning.”
If I think of my cancer as “warfare,” it’s difficult for me to maintain the peace…the serenity…needed to stay sane in the madness of this ordeal.
I want to focus on healing, not “combat.”

For the record, I am not challenging those who are comfortable with this terminology.
This is my perspective. For me!

That said, I’m not a fatalist, so I’m not resigned to a passive approach to my disease.
(Sorry, Doris Day!)

I don’t subscribe to the mentality that “everything happens for a reason.”
I also don’t buy into the notion that I have cancer to teach me some cosmic lesson.

I’m doing what’s necessary to address and confront this anomaly that’s happening in my body.
I trust my medical team.
I have an amazing, supportive husband along with a wonderful community of family and friends.
My faith is a source of strength for me as well.
Plus, I seem to be endowed with an inexplicable optimism and a twisted sense of humor.
Together they help me move forward with each element, making the decisions that are necessary at the time and finding a way to process it all.

I’m not a person who’s dying of cancer.
Right now, I’m a person who’s living with cancer.
(And all the crap that goes along with that.)

As I’ve mentioned in the past, since that initial diagnosis, several dear friends had their own cancer diagnoses, and they’re gone now.
For some reason, I’m still here!
It makes no logical sense, and that awareness comes with another bundle of emotions, but of course, I’m grateful.

Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration.
I value you all.

Finally, please keep my dear husband in your thoughts and prayers.
None of this is easy on him.